For the Dad on the Roof With the Christmas Lights
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For Dad is the Fun & Sassy Gifts collection for the man who has told the same joke at every family dinner since 1998 and still waits for the laugh. You know the man. He grills in the snow, he tests the lights by plugging them all in at once, and he will absolutely show off his gift at the hardware store the next morning.
Grill master, light hanger, house legend
Whatever Cooks Your Goose stars a goose in a Santa hat standing next to a grill with the flames roaring, which is the exact energy of Dad insisting the burgers are fine. Whatever Hooves Your Roof puts a reindeer on a snowy rooftop, a respectful nod to the man who climbs the ladder every December while everyone else holds their breath. Whatever Lights Your Tree dresses an evergreen in every color of ornament he could find, and Whatever Lights Your Rudolph brings a grinning reindeer with a glowing red nose and antlers roughly the size of Dad's opinions about the thermostat.
Strength, as he remembers it
Whatever Flexes Your Muscles features a lion curling his arms to show off serious biceps, which is how Dad sees himself carrying all the groceries in one trip. Whatever Jolly's Your Follies offers a Santa who has clearly been lifting, arms crossed and grinning under the hat. Whatever Gets Your Goat shows a goat crashing right through a wooden fence, the face Dad makes when someone leaves the garage door open.
Weekend Dad
For the dad who is at his best on a Saturday, Whatever Hangs Your Ten sends a surfer across a curling turquoise wave. Whatever Flies Your Kite lifts a bright kite into the sky, the one he always promised to teach you to fly. Whatever Delivers Your Pizza puts an astronaut on the moon with a pizza, for the dad whose idea of a home-cooked Friday is the delivery app. Whatever Juggles Your Apples tosses a cheerful red apple into the air, which he will insist he can do too.
For the dad who acts like he does not want anything
He says "do not get me anything" every single year. He means it about as much as he means "I am not lost." Picture him opening this, reading it slowly, chuckling and then pointing at it for the rest of the afternoon so everyone knows it came from you. By New Year's it will be his favorite, and he will claim he picked it out himself.
Written by Lily. Thanks for reading.